ENTE KERALAM ETHRA SUNDARAM?

05 Feb 2014

For over four decades, I was an early riser who didn't need an alarm to prod him awake and I can vouch that my arm never shot out to quell the snooze button. But after my retirement more than a year ago, my wife suggested that I had no reason to get up that early. She had a  point, but old habits die hard.  However with much mental re-conditioning, I got used to the new rhythm and discovered the joys of waking up as late as 7 am.  Many may dread retirement - especially if you were into high profile, high-stress banking - but I loved my retired life. Life is blissful!

Perhaps, my resolution to read all those books I had collected over many years was not carried out in the right earnest. But  I loved the long drives on the much improved but still potholed roads of Kerala - through the woods, along the beaches, amidst the mountains and through the narrow driveways with backwaters on either side. The rains provided relief from the moderately high temperatures and humidity. We enjoyed the early morning movies in the newly sprung up malls. We started enjoying some of the classical music concerts in the Fine Arts Hall and the light music events at Changampuzha Park besides the painting exhibitions at the Durbar Hall and yes, the Kochin Musiris Biennale. The delicious meals at Frys Village Restaurant, poori masalas and omelets at the Indian Coffee House and the seafood delicacies in Oceanos at Fort Kochi kept us going on all cylinders. At that point, when you digging into a fluffy parotta and egg roast, you feel as if you are the king of the world.

There were hardships too. The visits to the Akshaya Seva Kendras for getting Aadhaar cards and the indefinite wait on the hard wooden benches was a painful, frustrating exercise. But it was a minor blip when compared to the visits to the village office to get a residency certificate or a possession certificate or even pay land taxes you are expected to pay. There were not even hard wooden benches; one had to wait behind a small crowd in front of each table till the man or woman behind the table noticed you and decided to attend to you rather than the crowd. There were multitude of reasons why your request cannot be granted - You should have brought the original for verification; you need to affix a court fee stamp etc. etc.  This basically meant getting the originals or affixing the stamp and be back behind the crowd. Who said life was ever going to deal a fair hand?

Having said that, I do not know whether it was my salt and pepper hair (but I am no George Clooney)  or my wrinkle-free attire (I am no Mammootty) or a gracious woman (invariably it was my wife and no one else, I swear) on my arm which was a catalyst. I felt one of these elements were a factor in moving things along or did my threshold for patience amplify after retirement?

I could deal with these bumps on the road, but what I couldn't get over were the people I encountered. In all honesty, I am not being racist here, but I want to get it off my chest.  I have a problem with Malayalis and the way they treat each other.  It's no  fun to watch.  They prefer talking to you without looking at you. Be it the clerk at the village office or the salesman in the grocery shop they would prefer to say NO and may even indulge in a monologue on why they cannot do what I had requested for. They make no effort to tell me what I should do to get my work done and prefer directing me to the man at the next table or to the next shop. Over the eighteen months in Kerala, I also learnt to be wary of all those  who seem to "really care for you". They would knock at your door the next day for a loan of a few hundred rupees.  The best way to deal with that is to loan them the money and forget about getting it back. Who said life wasn't easy?

The most detestable part was the domination of politics in Kerala. Every electric post is adorned with the flux boards of at least one politician with folded hands and flashing a corny grin. There are boards of temple festivals, church perunaals, uroos makahms, god-men and god-women offering instant nirvana, beauty saloons and computer institutes, forthcoming niraaharams and road blocking strikes. The traffic rules are no hindrance for the men who erect such boards and the policemen around possibly have better things to do. The right wing wearing the white khadar mundu and shirt with a newspaper tucked in their arm-pits talk about democracy and look for the next man whom they can con into paying a few rupees to get things done. The Red is always on war path killing someone who objects to the dictums of the district or state committee. Fortunately the saffron brigade who also talk loud and clear is yet to get a good base in Kerala. Processions, strikes, hartals, bandhs happen at regular intervals and keep you indoors on at least two days in a month leaving you to watch television. And the umpteen news channels quote almost everyone and ask others to comment on it filling the airtime with worthless debates. Who said life is a bed of roses?

Now eighteen months into retirement someone wanted me to assist him and I have started working again in Dubai. It was a difficult decision to make. How much I yearned all the forty years to return to Kerala and spend a leisurely life here?

Back in Dubai I can at least dream about the tranquil life in Kerala.  

STATUES

06 Feb 2014

In our school, we used to play a game called statue. When you meet a pal for the first time in a day, you shout out "statue" pointing your fore and middle fingers at him and he has to "freeze" till you tell him to unfreeze. If he shouts "statue" first,  it is you have who has to freeze and unfreeze likewise. I still do not know the purpose of the game or what pleasure we used to derive out of it. But this was a routine between friends. Today morning when I heard of the statue of Shivaji being erected at a cost of Rs 100 crores to beat the Rs 2400 crore Patel statue in Gujarat, I was reminded of our childhood game. I tried to fathom the purpose of the statue game of the older people and to find out what pleasure they derive out of it.

For Hindus at least, statues have always been a symbol for worship. While the North Indians and colourful statues of Gods resembling ordinary men and women but with colours like blue, black, white depending on some stories in the epics or as per the imagination of the sculptor, the Southies seem to have preferred black stone statues with shapes exaggerating some of the body parts like eyes, bosom, nose etc. We worship these statues made of earthy materials like stones, metals, alloys, clay. For the temporary icons we made them out of synthetic materials like plaster of paris, painted them in horrid colours and immersed them after a few days in the sea or other water bodies. Everyone plays a part in polluting our environment. Christians too have a liking for statues of Jesus, Mary inside their churches and roadside altars and burning candles in front of them was manadatory to rid oneself of one's sins. I appreciate Islam in the matter. Muslims' God has no identifiable shape or size. The Islamic concept of God  more reflects the one God (Aham Brahmasmi, tat thwam asi)) depicted in the Hindu epics and the Chinese philosophy (Yin-Yang). My competence to dwelve on such religious philosophy ends here. My aim was to demonstrate our need for statues to satisfy our inner longings and beliefs.

The issue under discussion is about statues of Patel and Shivaji to be erected at enormous costs, mostly using public money which basically means the taxes you and I could not avoid paying. It might be argued that the cost is funded by contributions. Who would make such contribution? People who are willing to let go money (of whatever colour) from their wallet in exchange of some benefits in future-in cash or kind.

My earliest memory of a statue was the one in a forlorn corner of our school compound. We used to stand behind its shade to protect us from the evening sun when others were playing football. I did not bother to find out whose statue it was. I still do not know, nor do I care. But I do believe that if it were a tree instead of a statue, it would have grown into a mighty old one offering shelter to many birds, insects, and children and oxygen to the people around, unless it had been felled to construct a shopping complex or a stadium.

Coming back to the modern day statues. Probably it was the British who institutionalized the idea of setting up statues of mortals. I have seen many statues of many of the invaders on horsebacks along the beaches and roads of Chennai. Many of them had not got washed after the last rains. The little sparrows used the tall statues for dropping youknowwhat! The kazhagams perpetuated the practice by installing the statues of the likes of Thiruvalluvar, Annadurai et al. No doubt they were great men, but locking them up in stone or metal  on a pedestal with a quote or two inscribed, behind barbed wires was something I could never digest. The money could have been better-spent on printing their works and distributing them free to the schools. The statue of poet Kumaran Asan in front of the Kerala University building was one of ridicule to us, students. The campus talk was that the gesture depicted in the statue was either obscene or the fingers pointed at the despicable state of mismanagement at the University. Even the awesome marble statue of Abraham Lincoln in Washington DC did nothing to augment my regard for the great man. Coming back home, do the awful statues of leaders like Karunakaran (a joke is going around that it looks more like his non-existent illegitimate step brother) and Krishna Pillai instill any love or reverence? The ultimate fate of the Buddha statues of Bamiyan and that of Saddam Hussain in Baghdad is well-known. I would rather go and enjoy the Yakshi scuplture at Shankhumughom or the nameless structure in front of GCDA.

Can a country like India afford to put up statues of the likes of Kanshi Rams, Mayawatis wasting public revenue? What purpose do they serve? Will anyone tell Modi and Chavan to drop the idea of statues of Patel and Shivaji and construct homes for the aged and the destitute in their place? If they show the courage to do that, the sensible Indian public will contribute many crores to fund such causes. History will any way bring down the statues at some time and if at all there are any political gains for the erectors they too will be short-lived!